This happened to me! But I want to encourage you because I am in the process of becoming a school bus driver. I didn’t drive for 3 years at all and now I’m going to drive a bus load of kids. It takes time. But you can do this!! Backstory is that I stood on the side of the road at 4 yrs old and tried to stop my 3 yr old sister from running towards me from the opposite side into traffic. I saw her hit and i heard the tires scratching and my mother screaming. I stood frozen as they whisked her away to the hospital. She was badly injured. I nearly lost my dad at a young age g age by a drunk driver twice in one year. I was in a horrible wreck when I was 13. I had nightmares and ptsd. I finally learned to drive e when I was 23 but I wasn’t a confident driver. I had an accident while while driving at 8 months pregnant also g with my two toddlers. At 9 months pregnant a car slammed into the side of our car. I stopped driving. I stayed home with me 3 small children for 3 yrs. We moved and we were rural and my husband pretty much forced me to drive as a safety skill. Eventually I began driving more and more. But I still had the occasional panic attack while driving in big city traffic or tricky situations. I’ve driven for 25 yrs now. I still pray a lot while driving. I’ve never had a ticket. I’m careful. I’m learning to drive a school bus. God is good!
Oh wow, I'm so sorry to hear about all of those past experiences with driving. Thanks for sharing them with me. It's so encouraging to hear how you've been able to overcome those (very valid) fears and PTSD, and pretty incredible that you're now becoming a school bus driver — good on you! God really is good. 😌🙌
Other than a couple furloughs I have not driven since we moved overseas 9 years ago! 😬 It would take me a long time to work up to driving in Kathmandu. But you’re making me think I can do it!
Oh, wow — I can imagine! I grew up as an MK in Southeast Asia and sometimes wonder whether not having 'driving in a car' be part of my family's normal experience in those formative years has made me less comfortable now haha. I think to drive in some parts of the world takes a certain boldness and embrace of the chaos 😆
I understand. I had a panic attack while driving (I wasn't feeling well, driving alone down an empty highway at night), and it was terrifying. It took a long time for me to feel comfortable driving again, but as you have experienced, exposure is what helped me the most. You will get past this, I promise!
Thank you for the encouragement Elisabeth, I appreciate it! I'm really sorry to hear you had a similar experience, panic attacks can be awful. Exposure is definitely helping!
Good work! Have you considered taking a course on more dynamic driving so you know what you and your car are capable of? Normal driving is so far below the limit of the car that it can build confidence to know better where the limit is.
This is so helpful and so well written. One of my children suffers from anxiety and we often find ourself working out whether it’s a moment to save him or a moment to gently encourage him to challenge what his brain is telling him. His psychologist has been helpful in training us in this… but your article puts it so beautifully, your story has helped me see it more clearly. You’ve shown the pain and difficulty (and slowness) that can sometimes be part of this process and given a really helpful reminder to look to God in it all. Thank you
Thank you Kate, I'm glad to hear you found this helpful. It's so tricky learning to strike the balance between 'listening to our brains/bodies' and pushing through fear! It sounds like you're doing a really great job helping your son navigate that complexity.
I appreciate you sharing your experiences and I can sure understand how that situation would be traumatic and lead to anxiety.
I don’t know if you’ve ever tried EMDR but it can help move trauma to a less charged place. Sometimes that helps people. I hadn’t experienced much anxiety until my hormones were off during the pandemic and I must say it gave me tremendous empathy for friends and clients who suffer with anxiety. It was miserable. But it resolved and I am back to normal. I will mention an app created by a therapist in Australia named Mark Grant, MA. There’s an app for anxiety using EMDR and there’s a one time charge of $5 or so. My clients found it extremely helpful. I use his pain management app (same man created it) and have found it extremely helpful for many years now. It’s a steal too at $6. These are created for self care, but in my life the pain management app has been invaluable.
This happened to me! But I want to encourage you because I am in the process of becoming a school bus driver. I didn’t drive for 3 years at all and now I’m going to drive a bus load of kids. It takes time. But you can do this!! Backstory is that I stood on the side of the road at 4 yrs old and tried to stop my 3 yr old sister from running towards me from the opposite side into traffic. I saw her hit and i heard the tires scratching and my mother screaming. I stood frozen as they whisked her away to the hospital. She was badly injured. I nearly lost my dad at a young age g age by a drunk driver twice in one year. I was in a horrible wreck when I was 13. I had nightmares and ptsd. I finally learned to drive e when I was 23 but I wasn’t a confident driver. I had an accident while while driving at 8 months pregnant also g with my two toddlers. At 9 months pregnant a car slammed into the side of our car. I stopped driving. I stayed home with me 3 small children for 3 yrs. We moved and we were rural and my husband pretty much forced me to drive as a safety skill. Eventually I began driving more and more. But I still had the occasional panic attack while driving in big city traffic or tricky situations. I’ve driven for 25 yrs now. I still pray a lot while driving. I’ve never had a ticket. I’m careful. I’m learning to drive a school bus. God is good!
Oh wow, I'm so sorry to hear about all of those past experiences with driving. Thanks for sharing them with me. It's so encouraging to hear how you've been able to overcome those (very valid) fears and PTSD, and pretty incredible that you're now becoming a school bus driver — good on you! God really is good. 😌🙌
My apologies for all the typos! 🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️😳
Other than a couple furloughs I have not driven since we moved overseas 9 years ago! 😬 It would take me a long time to work up to driving in Kathmandu. But you’re making me think I can do it!
Oh, wow — I can imagine! I grew up as an MK in Southeast Asia and sometimes wonder whether not having 'driving in a car' be part of my family's normal experience in those formative years has made me less comfortable now haha. I think to drive in some parts of the world takes a certain boldness and embrace of the chaos 😆
I understand. I had a panic attack while driving (I wasn't feeling well, driving alone down an empty highway at night), and it was terrifying. It took a long time for me to feel comfortable driving again, but as you have experienced, exposure is what helped me the most. You will get past this, I promise!
Thank you for the encouragement Elisabeth, I appreciate it! I'm really sorry to hear you had a similar experience, panic attacks can be awful. Exposure is definitely helping!
Good work! Have you considered taking a course on more dynamic driving so you know what you and your car are capable of? Normal driving is so far below the limit of the car that it can build confidence to know better where the limit is.
Thanks Jonathan, that's a good suggestion!
This is so helpful and so well written. One of my children suffers from anxiety and we often find ourself working out whether it’s a moment to save him or a moment to gently encourage him to challenge what his brain is telling him. His psychologist has been helpful in training us in this… but your article puts it so beautifully, your story has helped me see it more clearly. You’ve shown the pain and difficulty (and slowness) that can sometimes be part of this process and given a really helpful reminder to look to God in it all. Thank you
Thank you Kate, I'm glad to hear you found this helpful. It's so tricky learning to strike the balance between 'listening to our brains/bodies' and pushing through fear! It sounds like you're doing a really great job helping your son navigate that complexity.
I appreciate you sharing your experiences and I can sure understand how that situation would be traumatic and lead to anxiety.
I don’t know if you’ve ever tried EMDR but it can help move trauma to a less charged place. Sometimes that helps people. I hadn’t experienced much anxiety until my hormones were off during the pandemic and I must say it gave me tremendous empathy for friends and clients who suffer with anxiety. It was miserable. But it resolved and I am back to normal. I will mention an app created by a therapist in Australia named Mark Grant, MA. There’s an app for anxiety using EMDR and there’s a one time charge of $5 or so. My clients found it extremely helpful. I use his pain management app (same man created it) and have found it extremely helpful for many years now. It’s a steal too at $6. These are created for self care, but in my life the pain management app has been invaluable.
https://apps.apple.com/app/id647038074